Preschool Gems

Although she swore she'd remember these gems forever, in five minutes they would vanish, never to be heard by human ears again. So she became a covert anthropologist in the underground world of children, and started carefully cataloging them, and has been gracing the Twitterverse with her findings ever since-such as:

"When I went to the chainsaw store I saw someone with REAL bubble gum."

"There's a wolf in my tummy and a porcupine in my bum."

"I don't care about time outs. I only care about my life."

"Who are me?"

"I love David Bowie. I'm going to marry David Bowie."

Preschool Gems is a collection of the most bizarre, hilarious, jaw-dropping things overheard at Leslie's school. By turns sweet, sinister, and naively sincere, these treasures prove that kids are really just miniature people who are weirder and a lot less inhibited than their adult counterparts.