52 Moments With God

The Hebrew name for God is VHYH, the ineffable name which should not be uttered. Instead, one may use the word Adonai (My Lord) in its place. Then there’s the boy  who ran home from school, exclaiming that he’d finally learned God’s name - Harold. His mother asked him why and he patiently explained: “Our Father, who art in heaven, Harold be thy name.”  We each have our own God, carved in the like of our own different self-images. Some are utterable and some are not; some are judgemental and some loving; some are savage and some kindly. The simple fact is that no one knows the true nature of God, not even Albert Einsten who spent his whole lifetime trying to work out how God thinks. We know as much of God as does an unborn child knows of adulthood and anyone pronouncing knowledge of God is fooling himself and guessing ... we’re all guessing, in fact. The established, male-dominated church holds that God is a bloke; Feminists that she’s a woman; others say God is without gender. I remember the horror and elation I experienced when I first came upon the possibility that God is not a being - human or otherwise - but a system, a process. This God doesn’t care or not care - we just live our lives, trying out what works and what doesn’t and, eventually, we hit upon the system and how it works. None of us have it down pat, yet, and it’s exciting experimenting with the possibility that we’re getting nearer and nearer to what makes life work. When what we’re doing flows with comfort and ease and when peace fills every bone and cell in our bodies, I suspect we’re coming close to the workings of God, whatever God is. There’s also a huge freedom in arriving at the place of not needing to know the shape, colour and mood of God ... just knowing what works is all that’s necessary. Living with the unknowing is not only peace-inducing, it just takes the angst out of daily life and the pain out of daily activity. I’ve come to a deep and abiding trust in what I call God and what I know as a consistent system; a system based on letting the past go, on realising that nothing is personal and that everything “out there” is a reflection of what’s “in here”; that taking self-responsibility for our thoughts and, when we do, God takes care of our lives. We do, however, need to give up control - one of the hardest things for a human to do.