A Fistful of Rubbers

Sid Tillsley, forty-six, is an alcoholic from Middlesbrough. He's sexist, homophobic, overweight, extremely lazy, and a dogger. However, two things set him apart from the rest of his fellow Northerners.

Sid Tillsley can kill vampires with a single punch.

AND he's no longer claiming benefits.

In the eyes of everyone apart from the taxman, Sid Tillsley is officially a vampire hunter. The old hunter, Reece Chambers, is using Sid to strike fear into the heart of the vampire nation, and Sid is doing so with gusto-for he gets a packet of fags for every vampire he knocks out.

But all is not rosy in Sid's world...

The Coalition, a council of vampires and humans mandated to hide the existence of the creatures of the night, has shut down his local pub in a horrific act of cruelty, separating him and his mates from their beloved Bolton Bitter. Plus, the psychotic vampire Gunnar Ivansey wants revenge. Sid hit Gunnar so hard in the nuts, he's never forgiven him.

Sid's trusted friends are having a hard time too. Arthur Peasley is being nagged to death and regrets knocking up his vampire girlfriend. Brian Garforth discovers vampires are so allergic to his "special sauce" that even a visit to the clinic won't save them. And then there's Peter Rathbone, who is still a greasy, horrible, little bastard.

Sid doesn't realise that he has a fight coming, one which will test him to his very limits. There's something else lurking in the shadows, or rather, the closet. A Northern man will punch anything in the face, but what terrifies him, what saturates him with carnal fear, is a direct attack on his sexuality...and the Campire draws near.

"The ultimate vampire series. Howay the lads! A definite must read!"-Amy J. Ramsey, Ramsey's Reviews

2nd Edition - the series has been revised and rewritten as of Sept 2014.