A Tourist's Guide To The Ideal London

"I have no idea what that is, who he is, why the fuck you're asking me, or what the hell is happening," Alec said, simply. [...] "I don't like you, I don't like him, and you've probably resulted in me losing a job I only just got and had to bend over backwards to get by dragging me all over some bullshit hallucination and making me inexplicably late." ***

Everything you believe about London is true. ***

At least, it's true somewhere. What's also true is that Alec Archer Crowe and Opportunity Chioma Oluchukwu definitely didn't ask to be involved in any version of London other than the one they're in, and yet here they are: faced with disintegrating realities, constantly-changing rules no one will explain, and the world's smelliest witch. Something is horribly, terribly wrong... and not just Alec's sleep schedule.