And You May Find Yourself

IF YOU FOUND OUT YOU WERE GOING TO DIE TOMORROW, what would that information stir in you? Calmness? Regrets? Sadness? Need? Wishes? What promises would you make to yourself, if you could suspend the end?

And what if the time from now until tomorrow is compromised by your condition? There would be no arranged farewells, no last meal of your choice, none of the luxuries that Hollywood or bucket lists suggest are available to us. 

For 5 days in an ICU in NYC this became my reality. Isolated, not allowed food or water, not coherent or comprehending enough to communicate with my loved ones, and too scared to go to sleep in case I didn't wake. I use my love for music as the backdrop for my story. The songs and lyrics that elevated my spirit, mended my heart and showed me the real connections in my life. Songs that brought me comfort and that brought back memories of the people, places and times that mattered the most.

The key concept of the book is 'practicing death'. Faced with a high possibility that this was the end for me, 'Practicing death' is the idea that you can use my story and my experiences over the last 5 years, to deal with the inevitability of death. Use this story to evaluate your life, to challenge yourself with the big questions, and to shape your life in such a way that WHEN that time comes, you are more in control and more satised with your answers than I was.