Bring Me The Arse Of Saddam

I write in the first person, and this book follows my adventure across Iraq with the USMC and into England. I've served in 2 Para and 22 SAS. I've worked as a military adviser and as a photojournalist. I've survived eight wars. I've been bombed, shot, napalmed, stabbed and bitten - I've been lucky bastard for sure! I was the first person in the world to be arrested by British Police and threatened with a seven to ten stretch for breaching, The United Nations Sanction - Order 2003, Article 8, (stealing or knowingly taking Iraqi cultural property). The cultural property in question was a large piece of bronze-Saddam Hussein's left buttock from that iconic statue the United States Marine Corps pulled down in Baghdad, 2003. When I put it up for sale with a price tag of £25,000 to raise money for military charities a whole pile of grief suddenly descended upon me, and one could have been forgiven for thinking, had we moved to DEFCON 2? Had the police gone totally bonkers? Who was pushing the bells of the British Government? And, who was dropping the full weight of the Law down on me and why?'