Calypso Greener Goes to Hollywood

Book Summary - Long

The story opens with Calypso Greener, that most stalwart of politically correct journalists, winging his way out to Hollywood where he has an opportunity to star in a new game show, What Would You Do For A Million? He is very excited to be heading to that liberal nirvana, but on the plane, he meets up with left wing blogger, Yank Feral, a new breed of political warrior who very bluntly educates Calypso about the true nature of the brutish battle for America's soul. Nevertheless his rude treatment, Calypso's enthusiasm is unquenchable because he not only has a shot at winning a million dollars, but also a chance to become one of the beautiful people with whom he shares so much in common. Unfortunately, his first meeting with the producer of the show - the odious billionaire media mogul, Flash Flake - goes horribly wrong, but because of an ulterior motive, Flake gives Calypso a second chance and even invites him to a Halloween party at the Fleshpot palace. To mingle with the Fleshpot Beavers is a dream come true for Calypso and at the palace, he runs into assorted liberal wackos and even America's foremost enemy, Osama Bin Laden, who has not only found the perfect hiding place, but apparently enjoys a very friendly relationship with the Hollywood elite.
True to form, Calypso gets wasted at the party and then spends the night with a woman whom he thinks is Flash Flake's niece. The next morning he runs out on her, thinking he has blown his chance at stardom, but his faithful limo driver convinces him to pursue his dream and thus Calypso meets with the very weird bigwigs of Flash Flake Studios, getting to see first hand the lunacy that passes for high style in Hollywood. Though continually spurned, Calypso's lust to become one of the beautiful people is insatiable and he gratefully accepts an invitation to Flake's mansion for a barbecue. Once there, he deduces that Flake is out to get him and hides, thus becoming an accidental witness to an infamous historical event - a face-to-face meeting between the Democrat Congressional leadership and Osama Bin Laden! Calypso gets caught by the terrorists, but is rescued by Flake because he wants to use Calypso as a pawn in the game show, but, by wits and guile, Calypso ostensibly outfoxes the overweening billionaire and puts himself on a sure track to win the million dollar prize. The shrewd Flake plays along, even feting Calypso during a celebrity gala hosted by Hypocritical Whore and the High Priestess of the Church of Global Warming, Mother Climate-Change, but the billionaire media mogul is a shameless double dealer and because of his machinations, Calypso loses out on the million and is humiliated on national television. Thus, the stalwart liberal reporter must head back to Washington DC with his tail between his legs, forced to kowtow to Yank Feral, who has had a very profitable visit to the left coast.