Conceptual Laws and Customs of Christmas

If Christmas had been a Jewish holiday, the laws and customs of Christmas would have been published, perhaps like in this satire.The detailed laws and customs cover the following; Preparing for Christmas including when to start the preparationsThe tree including the type and sizeDecorating the tree including the need for symmetryThe Christmas lights including the typesGifts and gift giving including when they may be opened and distinguishing between childish and adult giftsThe office party including where and when it should take place The festive meals including what should be eaten at each mealSanta Claus; the myths and reality Rituals of the synagogue service for each service including when to say Hallel and with and without a blessingChristmas and Chanukah; distinguishing between them