Dear Son / Moving on

My life as a daughter, sister, wife, mother and an adoption survivor. When I was 19 years old I was forced to surrender my son. It broke my heart and I became severely depressed which included self harming and being suicidal over the years. In 2004 I found my son who had been searching for me and had found my family in 1999. I had fallen out with my family in 1999 but from 2001 (we had moved) I let my parents know where my husband and I were but they chose not to tell my son. Life has been a rollercoaster but reunion hasn't made up for the lost years and the pain is always with me.