Emerged

I didn't stay for my kids but I stayed because I felt obligated to prove a point to those who had rejected and rendered me useless. I wanted to be a wife so badly that it gave me an inner strength to endure what others thought was abnormal. I became addicted to the love bombs that came after every fight even though they didn't last long. I became suicidal and tried taking my own life, later it became thoughts that I didn't go through with. As time went by, I started enjoying the fights, I became a narcissist too using beer as a way to justify everything I wouldn't do when I was not drunk. Leaving was not easy but finally I walked away only to try one more time and it all didn't work. I was just putting a bandage on a bleeding wound and it backfired. I needed to heal first. Now that I am healed, I want to share my mistakes and ignorance. This will help one or two people who might be caught up in something similar to my own story. Never keep a blind eye to any red flag.