Fairly Odd Mother

"I felt I had a lot of wisdom to impart to my daughter, like "Never let a man see you put on control top panty hose (or for that matter, take them off. Someone could get hurt.)"

- from the column "Moms get dumber as teens age"

"The idea of drinking a bovine pee cola gives a whole new meaning to those old Peter Frampton lyrics, 'I'm in you, urine me.' At least I think that's how they went. Plus, it makes you give those Red Bull ingredients a second glance."

-from the column "Try an ice cold Cow-ca Cola"

"Guys, at this point have likely picked up on the more obvious (to guys) mystery in this whole incident:
Where does a naked woman put $40,000 in jewelry...?

(Pause while we all ponder this.)

...and if this man was paying $100 per hour to have a naked woman in his house, why wasn't he watching her? I imagine to some, this would seem wasteful."

- from the column "Nude maid strips man of self respect"

What readers are saying ...

"Kelly Kazek has a most delightful writing style and a wry sense of humor!" - Jim G., Phoenix, Arizona

"I've never written to a newspaper colunist before but I had to write to tell you how much I enjoyed your column. Rarely does anything make me laugh out loud but your column did!" - Martha C. Leeds, Alabama

"I burst out laughing several times" - Linda S. Whiting, New Jersey

"If a new column's not there by Monday, I start to get the shakes." - Michael P., Milledgeville, Ga.