HeartSnark: A literally light-hearted account of my heart transplant, or Shakespearean strippers, bison meatloaf, and urinal harem

Finalist. 2020 Next Generation Indie Awards, Humor. Finalist, 2021 Reader's Choice Awards, Memoir.The most hilarious heart transplant memoir you'll read this year! In late March 2019, high school English teacher and competitive runner Terry Kroenung rode a quick 10 miles on his bike. 10 days later he had an emergency heart transplant. Really. Imagine his surprise. This memoir recounts his experiences with near-fatal pacemaker implantations, defibrillation scorch marks, 7-hour cardiac ablations, surgical staples, and the up-and-down recovery process. Along the way are 6 pregnant nurses, Canadian axe throwers, alien face-huggers, playful chest zippers, demonic urinary catheters, and the most horrifying photo of a dead heart that even the doctors had ever seen. To keep himself -- and his shell-shocked wife, family, and friends -- from dwelling on the life-or-death enormity of it all, he kept a diary of everything that happened, no matter how trivial or absurd. His snarky, pun-strewn, geeky commentary on events, as well as more dubiously-termed 'wit' that he added after the fact (essentially playing Mystery Science Theatre with himself), make up the book that you're somehow still reading about. The proceeds of this book will go to benefit Donor Alliance and their life-saving work increasing the supply of transplant organs.