How to Spy on Your Neighbor: Your Survival Guide for the United States of Russia

Now that The Kremlin has placed the Dotard in power, Russian ex-pats Vicky Kuperman and Isabella Patrick will teach Americans what life is really like in an autocracy. The ten chapters walk you through daily survival tips, such as what to wear when you're reporting your neighbors to the authorities (looking innocent matters); what to pack in your go-bag (vinegar and Bruce Willis DVDs), how to manage wire taps in your home (hum the Russian national anthem into your sock drawer every morning) and key phrases, vocabulary and proverbs so you'll be able to communicate freely (well, maybe not that freely). And when you're ready to blend in, there's even a formula for figuring out your new Russian name (Jane Smith is now Svetlana Smithskaya. Doug Edelman is now Boris Edelmanovich) and new hashtags (#CrimeaRiver #FaceCrime #FBF #FlashBackFascism).

For those of us not ready to lie down--the citizens who became dissidents pretty much overnight on November 8th--the last chapter, "Resist," will be a humorous guide to how you can still make a difference as an activist. These days, we must stay aware, informed and active, so that we can come out intact on the other side. But it doesn't hurt to laugh along the way.

From suffering the apocalypse in four-inch heels to saying "Dosveedanya" to your rights, HOW TO SPY ON YOUR NEIGHBOR provides the experience, skills and laughter that will help you assimilate into our new world order. Read this book, commit it to memory, and then destroy all the evidence (books makes great kindling if you need the warmth)!