I'm Not Broken

Her body is thawing, and the smell of death is oozing from her. I want to be sick, but I say nothing. I watch like I was told. Good girls, listen. I want to rub my legs clean; I want a shower. Startled when my mom announced she was done. I finally see. Even though I was watching, I did not truly see. I say nothing. I sit and watch. Wishing for heaven too.
Survival is all I can think of, I must do as they say, or I will be next. I am trying to be strong but failing many times. Will I leave the summer alive? will I get to start 8th Grade? I was finally able to tell on my parents. Now I am traveling in the foster care system. I await trial. I am scared, but I will testify against them. For Alexia's memory. She deserves at least that much from me, as I failed her in many ways. Now I spend the next few years navigating life with no family.
>Trigger warning, child abuse, death