I'm Sorry for My Loss: An Urgent Examination of Reproductive Care in America

Why is our culture so bad at dealing with pregnancy loss?

It's true that our society doesn't handle death or grief very well. But that lonely, helpless feeling that so many feel when they miscarry or lose a baby is not a coincidence. Something deeper and more systemic is going on here, formed by different pressures sliding like tectonic plates: politics, history, racism, misogyny, law, medicine--even the very words we use. For something that affects close to a million people every year, we should be better at talking about and supporting those who have experienced pregnancy loss.

This mess has serious consequences beyond making us feel lousy: death, sickness, and depression among them. But it has also contributed to a rising emphasis on the life and rights of the fetus over the mother and, ultimately, the overturning of Roe v. Wade.

I'm Sorry for My Loss is a surprising, enraging, and unusually witty effort to detangle this confusing societal knot. Rebecca Little and Colleen Long, childhood friends who grew up to be journalists, both experienced late-term loss, and together they take an incisive, deeply reported look at the issue, working to shatter taboos that have made so many pregnant people feel ashamed and alone.

Combining powerful personal narratives with exhaustive research into laws, culture, medicine, and history, I'm Sorry for My Loss is a comprehensive sociological take on how pregnancy loss came to be so stigmatized and why a system of more compassionate care is critical for everyone.