In the Curated Woods

Ute Heggen's husband revealed a shocking truth: he'd started a secret life and no longer identified as male. Ute, a mother of two young sons, thus became a grass widow, a woman whose husband, during a personal crisis, forged ahead into opposite sex identification.

In this poignant chronicle, illustrated with fifty original nature photographs, Ute Heggen reveals the stinging betrayals, recent trends of mother erasure, and as well, sweet remembrances of her young sons' childhoods. As she writes this memoir, Ute plants and weeds, finding ultimate healing in the curating of her beloved woods and gardens.

In the Curated Woods: True Tales from a Grass Widow is a powerful narrative of modern life and natural beauty that gives voice to women in all walks of life. Ute Heggen tells further true tales of women discovering their voices again at uteheggengrasswidow.wordpress.com.

"Ute's story is one of unimaginable gaslighting and heartbreak; it shines a glaring light on the financial, emotional, and societal repercussions of becoming a trans widow ..."
-Isabella Malbin, founder of Whose Body Is It?


We see a woman, a mother, facing and finding herself, overcoming. One feels the life undone, yet through a trial of the self, understanding. Ute Heggen's tales retrieve the light from the darkness.

Donovan Cleckley, writer, womenarehuman.com