Insomnia

With just three lines and a total of 17 syllables in each haiku and studded with prose poetry, Insomnia is a raw, realistic look at how the pressure of doing it all - balancing marriage, friendships, family, work, self-care, social media, and societal expectations, all while living through a global pandemic, a mental health crisis, and a loneliness epidemic - can bubble up to a breaking point and lead to one of life's darkest moments.

It had been six straight weeks without a full night's sleep; 46 days total of battling extreme insomnia on top of depression, anxiety, and burnout.

"I'm fucking exhausted," I told my brain. "Please just let me sleep."

Medication, meditation, yoga, CBD, eliminating caffeine, avoiding naps, no technology at night, warm milk - you name it, I'd tried it. Nothing worked.

I was so desperate that, one night, I resorted to writing a haiku, wondering if poetry was the secret connection to the area of my brain that regulates sleep. While it didn't bring rest, it did bring inspiration. What started as one haiku led to 50, written in the early predawn hours of May 12, 2021.

Within the collection, I share these poems in the order I felt and experienced them, studded with prose to add more context. I hope this book can be the friend to you that I wish I had in my darkest moments.

Trigger warning: This book discusses mental health and mental illness, including anxiety, depression, suicide, eating disorders, and body dysmorphia. Please take care while reading.