Marriage Counseling 101

This book addresses the battle for healthy Christian marriages.
The failure of one marriage produces failures throughout the family, with
the young people coming from those homes and in the marriages formed
by those children. We are unable to estimate the damage done when
marriages fail. This is not just happening in the world around us. It is
happening in the ranks of ministers, within the families of our
congregation and among our own children.
We can choose to avoid this crisis, by hiding in our secluded world
of stained glass and stately music. Scott Peck in his classic book The
Road Less Traveled, stated, avoidance is the beginning of mental illness.
1.He was right. This will drive us crazy! Instead, we can choose to join
others on the battlefield. Bo Prosser and Charles Qualls have advised us,
"Let's try to frame the discussion around healthy marriages. A healthy
marriage is better than a normal marriage." 2 We will have many allies
when we do. These are dedicated physicians, psychiatrists, professional
therapists, social workers, school counselors and an army of others who
have a role in this battle.
There are several battle stations we can fill. We can provide
training opportunities for those getting married and for the married, coach
those trying to do better, and provide first aid for those wounded in this
battle. We in the helping professions must also see ourselves as MASH
units, picking up the wounded from the battlefield and giving them a
chance for healing. This book is designed to inform ministers who want to
enter the battlefield as a soldier.
1. Some who read this may choose to enter the counseling
ministry with a sense of calling for long-term service.

2. Some who read this may learn enough to give first aid and
remember the physician's code of "Heal when you can, do no
harm when you cannot."
3. All who come to these pages will be helped in some way to
join the battle.
Several stations we can fill:
Guarding those married and getting married,
Coaching for those doing battle,
Giving first aid for those getting wounded.
While we in the helping vocation of professional counselors see ourselves
as the MASH unit, picking up the wounded from behind the front line and
giving them first aid and care, we need help. Our best allies are ministers.
Some of them are on the battlefields, while many are cloistered in their
cathedrals unaware of the battle scene.
We intend for this book to be a practical guide for ministers in
marriage counseling, presented in everyday language. You will indicate to
us to what degree we were successful by your response to the call to help
build healthy Christian marriages.