My Life

"Being a Roman Catholic priest was my vocation in life. But it was impossible for me to ignore that I was a gay sexual being."

A gay Roman Catholic priest reveals his adventurous life and ministry in this cartoon-style memoir. During a half-century of priesthood, Jan Haen found surprising ways to unite his inclusive spirituality, queer sexuality, and monumental artistry across the globe in Europe, Africa and the Caribbean. He sparked both admiration and controversy by showing same-sex couples in his religious art.

After ordination in 1969, Haen discovered his gay identity against the backdrop of a tradition-bound church. His struggles led him through a transformative personal odyssey, including a period of vulnerability when he became a mental-health patient at the same hospital where he once served as chaplain. Guided by faith and bolstered by support from the Redemptorist order in the Netherlands, Haen found courageous, creative ways to live authentically. At the heart of his narrative is his enduring partnership with a man named Ton, his beloved companion of nearly four decades.

Haen worked with local people to paint murals in churches, schools, and public spaces, often amplifying untold stories. Beyond his artistic endeavors, Haen's legacy is advocacy and action. He fought for racial justice in South Africa, sailed the Caribbean as a Dutch naval chaplain, illustrated LGBTQ Christian literature, and much more. Short, accessible prose lets the pictures tell his inspiring journey of gay faith.