No More One More Time

When is the perfect time to take up jogging to get in shape? Well, it's definitely not on a whim, out of the blue, in the middle of August, in Louisiana, of all places, when you're suffering from hot flashes, mood swings and empty nest syndrome. What was I thinking? Why did I do that? I should have just kept my fat ass home where the AC keeps it a comfy sixty-nine degrees. All my stuff is there. And fat rolls are coming back in style anyway… aren't they? If not, they should be. I miss the Renaissance days, when plus-size ladies were put upon pedestals and worshiped like the goddesses we are. What's that? I wasn't there? So?But no, I just had to get in shape. I had to go jogging- and damn near got my ass flattened into a grease spot on the road by a spit-shined candy-apple-red Audi RS7 flying out of the neighbor's drive, ass first. Smooth move, Ex-Lax. And it's not even like I can claim I didn't know someone is living there again. I knew. The kids mentioned it before they took off for college. What I didn't know was it's Beau Barrineau, the previous home owner's grandson - and my ex-boyfriend- that moved in.That's definitely the last thing I need. Beau broke my heart when he left me behind the summer after graduation to pursue his dream of becoming a rock star. Yep, he's the last person I want to see- but fine. Whatever. He won't be here long, right? Not in Podunk, Louisiana where they roll the sidewalks up at sundown. A hilarious fake engagement second chance rock star romance featuring a hot rock star and the only woman he ever loved. Watch as he does everything in his power to win her back. Failure is not an option.