On The Outside: A Story of Female to Male Transition and Therapy When You Don't Believe in Therapy

Let's say you wake up one day and that voice inside you tells you that it's time to become the man you were meant to be; and you choose to listen to the voice. Oh, and you've already lived for over five decades ignoring that voice and pretending to be someone you knew you weren't. And, just for fun, let's say that you've managed to keep this a secret from everyone you know because you don't like to talk about personal stuff, and you still see no reason to change that plan. To make it even more interesting, not only do you not care to talk about it - even though it's something you can't do without support - the one person that would be the most helpful to you will have to take you in a direction you not only do not want to travel, it's actually a path in which you basically do not even believe. Everyone's story is different. This is my story. It is the convoluted account of how I transitioned from female to male, who I was before I transitioned, who I am now; and my reluctance to put myself into the hands of a gender identity therapist when I'd never believed in therapy.