Pink Tootsie

Not everyone is ready for what I divulge. Some may think I go too far. People have asked me what the catalyst of my drug addiction was. I look inside myself and try to answer honestly. But there is no "one" thing. I believe it was a combination of many things starting with my lineage. Most have heard of Yin and Yang, Nature vs Nurture and Karma but these are only theories. In an attempt to answer the question I have put my life story, from conception to 21 years old into "Pink Tootsie," Portrait of a Drug Addict. Revealing in painstaking detail my story of an unavailable mother, a mentally unstable father, molestation as a child, rape and violence throughout my teens, and I'll let you be the judge. I need to be brutally honest to connect with as many survivors as possible. I thought throughout my young life that I was the only person dealing with these things. My goal became, no matter how painful, embarrassing or repugnant the details were, I wanted to connect the dots. To reach the unreachable, teach the unteachable and answer the unanswerable. *WARNING* explicit sexual and violent content. 18]

The ocean waves I'll never see

The eagle proud

To fly with me Is but a dream I cannot free

For thoughts of such

Won't ever be.

-1984