Please Don't Piss on the Petunias

Please Don’t Piss on the Petunias is a collection of essays and stories by a Colorado gardener with a dream: to give her two daughters the nature-centered childhood she had always longed for. When her husband finds an old house in a quirky part of town, she begins to make her dream a reality.

Engaging, edgy, and often hilarious, Please Don’t Piss on the Petunias follows Sandra Knauf as she turns a weed-filled yard into an urban paradise. Over the course of several chaotic years, she:

• Muddles through "mistress gardener" training, learning the ABCs of horticulture.


• Raises, with her young daughters, exotic breed bantam chickens named after Greek goddesses.


• Goes on her first bee-swarm capture.


• Discovers that a hen in their small flock has undergone a sex change.


• Copes with a series of family dogs: a rambunctious rescue Dalmatian, a destructive black Lab puppy, and a counterfeit teacup Chihuahua with a bad attitude.


• Adds to the animal menagerie: Netherlands dwarf rabbits, fancy backyard goldfish, triops from the age of the dinosaurs, and more.

Through creating a life filled with plants and animals (and plenty of love) Sandra makes a discovery that will resonate with any rebel: Going off the beaten path may be the best way to find out who you really are.