Reclaiming The Village

As a middle school counselor for nearly 25 years, Kathy had the opportunity to work with a variety of students and family situations. Some family situations were difficult to manage, but what was certain is that parents love their children and want the best for them; they may not always know the best way to do that.

Kathy and her colleague, Lori, began facilitating parent workshops when they saw an increased rate of teens participating in thrill-seeking behaviors.

Parents were frustrated to see their well-adjusted, happy kids turn into young people that didn't understand, and their behavior changed when they entered middle school. The information and strategies Starks and her colleague provided to the parents were well received, and they believed they had some tools to handle being the parent of a middle school child.

Now, as she works at the high school level, Starks sees teens struggling with different issues. Anxiety and depression became a replacement for thrill-seeking behaviors. Some parents are at a loss about how to help their children, and fear of their child's failure has caused them to enable poor behaviors.

Parents are overwhelmed, the extended family doesn't live nearby anymore, and the recent pandemic has made matters worse. It seems like the village has disappeared.

Starks has seen the highs and lows of adolescents trying to navigate high school and their teen years and attempt to make good decisions for their futures. How can parents and families get back to the role of supporting the children so they can be ready for adulthood?

• Do teens understand the value of work?
• Are they able to face the consequences of their behavior without their parents "bailing" them out?
• Are they getting enough sleep and balancing their schoolwork with other activities?

Through anecdotal stories from Starks' experiences, Reclaiming the Village examines some of the struggles teens face and offers practical strategies for parents to implement to help their children move beyond high school with confidence.