Remarkable Adventures of Zlorn the Unremarkable

Zlorn Marjaestk is a small, shy, unassuming Surellian man who wants nothing more than to live his mediocre life in peace and anonymity. But fate has other plans for him, and he was given a mission. The mission was simple: carry a message to another planet, and then come home. What could go wrong? Quite a lot, apparently, including lies, political intrigue, danger, killing, a brewing intergalactic civil war, pirates, a mysterious unknown planet, and more money than anyone has ever thought of before. With a sassy blue alien hired to be his bodyguard, and the beautiful love of his life, Lorraine, the wholly unremarkable Zlorn embarks on what turns out to be quite a remarkable and dangerous adventure.