Secure Love

Create a lasting, loving bond in your relationship with this concrete advice to develop a secure attachment from the expert couple’s therapist behind the popular Instagram account @TheSecureRelationship.

What does a healthy relationship look like?

A good question, in theory, but expert couple’s therapist Julie Menanno wants you to ask a slightly different one: what does a securely attached relationship feel like?

The answer to this question is the ultimate goal in Secure Love, a groundbreaking guide to secure attachment in adult relationships. While attachment style has grown in popularity to explain the relationship between children and their caregivers, it also helps us understand ourselves in relationships today based on that childhood attachment. How we attach—or don’t—ultimately shapes our adult romantic relationship.

Julie Menanno is the couple’s therapist behind the popular Instagram account @TheSecureRelationship, which has one million followers dedicated to her wisdom. In Secure Love, Menanno tackles:
- Why you and your partner have the same fight over and over (hint: it’s called a negative cycle, and underlying every fight, argument, silent treatment, or passive-aggressive comment is an unmet attachment need).
- The four attachment types, with exercises designed to help you understand you and your partner’s attachment style.
- How to improve communication in a relationship, including staying connected during conflict and prioritizing vulnerability—rather than protectivity—in communication.
- “Instead of that, say this” suggested scripts of how to approach difficult situations in your relationship from a more productive and vulnerable stance.
- Why insecure attachment negatively impacts a couple’s sex life and how to restore that sexual connection.

Secure Relationship is a crash course in understanding how you show up in a relationship and diagnosing the negative cycles you and your partner may get trapped in. Menanno teaches you how to establish a secure attachment with your partner to create a lifelong bond.