Sheila Levine is Dead and Living in New York

You know her. Maybe you are her. Sheila's pretty cute (her mother says she's beautiful), she dates a bit here and there, she has a best friend who's taller and thinner, and she thinks her future is, well, in the future. Then it happens, she slams headlong into her thirtieth birthday - and she's still single. Sheila tries valiantly to rectify the situation, she really does, but the guys she dates turn out to be gay, or interested in her best friend, or losers looking for free rent. Disappointment turns to desperation, and after a flash of insight, Sheila calmly makes a decision. She's going to kill herself.