That Could Fucking Kill You!

Are You Sure Your Kids Are Safe?

You've been tirelessly childproofing the house ever since your firstborn started crawling. Baby gates, safety plugs, bumpers on every remotely sharp corner, complicated drawer latches that even you can't open.

You've been preaching about safety ever since your firstborn seemed to listen to what you're saying. Don't touch this. Don't eat that. Stay away from dogs and crocodiles, if you happen to see one.

And yet...

If you don't keep an eye on your kids every single moment, they'll find a potentially lethal danger within 5 seconds. After all, the neighbor's pitbull is so fun to tease and Grandma's pills look so delicious.

No wonder you're already exhausted at 10 am. Keeping kids safe is a lot of work.

So... what if you put them into a safe place (a cage perhaps, or maybe a bunker for bigger kids?), grabbed this book and took a well-deserved break?

That Could F*cking Kill You is the book every parent needs.

• It's poetry. Well, maybe not quite on the level of Shakespeare's sonnets, but it rhymes!
• It's got pictures. Lots of them. Unless you get sick at the sight of picture books, you'll love this one.
• It's got adult words in it. Really naughty ones. You probably miss them after reading so many children's books.
• It's fun and painfully relatable. Just grab a copy and see for yourself.

This book is perfect for parents who value dark humor and don't panic over a few obscene words. Just don't read it to your kids and don't let it fuel your anxiety.