The Pan-Galactic Misadventures of Dick Blowhard

A long time from now, in the galaxy you're currently living in, Private Detective Dick Blowhard is double-crossed by a little weasel who sends a biker gang of evil unicorns to kill him. Now I know what you're thinking: unicorns are supposed to be majestic creatures that bring beauty and magic into the world, but you'd be dead fu$%ing wrong. These unicorns are armed to the teeth, and their mission is to put Dick down for a long dirt nap.

Using his superpowers, Dick defeats the unicorns, but accidentally destroys a bar in the process. The owner of the bar, Nunya Business, is a badass smuggler/super-hacker with a dark past. Pissed off at Dick and demanding he fix her bar, and not trusting him to come back with the money, she follows him on a crazy-ass, galaxy-spanning adventure. They face deadly trials, get chewed on by cursed animated toys, engage in a massive spaceship battle, and go toe-to-toe with deadly mutant ninja-sloths in this epic story of sheer awesomeness.