The Platinum-Level Transluminal Vacation Package of Your Dreams

Lloyd Heller sells luxury vacations in alternate timelines. If he can close one last sale in the next 24 hours, he gets his own vacation package, the best of them all, a real career topper: the platinum-level vacation package of his dreams.

Too bad the secret science Heller uses to jump timelines is just whacky magic dreamed up by a bored deity. Heller doesn't know it, but his company, his product-his entire career-is a divine prank. When all the tech explodes in a speed yoga accident, the whole shebang goes into ground-hog mode. The strain on reality threatens to turn Heller and the rest of the known galaxy into a scorched field of low-grade aquarium gravel if somebody doesn't fix it, pronto.

Actually racing against time, Heller does everything in his power to stop the ground-hogging, reset reality, save the world, score that platinum vacation package, and maybe, against all odds, fall in love 

(Please note: novel includes sentient phones, recursive reality T.V., vacuum-induced full-body fart scenes, Gerry Rafferty songs, transgressive blasphemy, spider dogs, naked old people, and endless cthulian dread.)