The Real Writers' Handbook

The Real Writers' Guide isn't about writing and it isn't about getting published. It's about all the other stuff, the stuff no-one else wants to admit they think about.

What sort of autograph will I use to sign my books?

If I wear a suit jacket will everyone know I'm a Real Writer?

What sort of notebooks do Real Writers use?

Do Real Writers drink coffee?

Should you cheat on your partner in order to be a Real Writer?

If you've ever found yourself asking pointless questions like these, this is the book for you.

It doesn't concern itself with technique, style or vision.

It won't teach you anything about the art and craft of writing.

Instead, it offers essential answers to the questions writers use to procrastinate, prevaricate and otherwise avoid the one thing they're meant to be doing.

Buy it. Maybe it'll make you a Real Writer.