The Super Spy and the Great Feast

Redneck nuclear physicist, Billy Bob Billy Jeff Jenkins, has escaped, and only the Superspy can find him. With plans to blow up the world in a hailstorm of rockets, the Superspy has only four days to locate and detain the madman. His quest will lead him through mountains, caves, deserts, grasslands, a BBQ sauce factory, back to the desert again, more caves, a deserted town, coffee shops, a farmer's market with way too much food, diarrhea with no toilet paper, a bookstore, and finally into the shadow of a dormant evil that has been biding its time for redemption. Will the Superspy make it in time to save the world? Maybe...maybe not...is anyone really reading this? Hello? Anyone out there? Oh, hey, what's up? You come to the bookstore often? You should totally buy this book. It's good. I dare you. I double-dog-dare you. I triple-dog-dare you. Chicken.