They Call Him Antichrist

Van's an asshole, an insensitive douchebag, an annoying piece of shit who finds himself expelled from just about every school in Louisiana. Public school, private school, military school, even a Christian boarding school at one point in his life- he has been permanently blacklisted from every single one, leaving his exhausted mother to send him to the only alternative program that he could not be removed from: the Baton Rouge Youth Department of Rehabilitation. Once there, he manages to instantly piss off a self-proclaimed witch, who curses him with a magic cereal box. Yes, this is actually the plot of the book.