Things I forgot to tell the world

THIS STARTLING, PROVOCATIVE, UPROARIOUSLY FUNNY COLLECTION OF ESSAYS, POEMS, CHARACTER SKETCHES AND ODD THOUGHTS AND IDEAS WAS ORIGINALLY TO BE PUBLISHED AS A LAST WORK ONLY AFTER MY DEATH BUT I REALIZED THAT I NEED THE MONEY NOW.
THIS BOOK IS DEDICATED TO EVERY HACK, SCHLOCK WRITER I HAVE EVER READ FOR THEY INSPIRED ME NOT TO REACH FOR THE LOFTY HEIGHTS OF THE GREAT LITERARY TALENTS BUT TO HOLD TO THE SIMPLE DICTIM: "HELL, I CAN DO AT LEAST THAT GOOD."