This American Ex-Wife: How I Ended My Marriage and Started My Life

A deeply validating manifesto on the gender politics of marriage (bad) and divorce (actually pretty good!) in America today, and an argument that the former needs a reboot—from journalist and proud divorcée Lyz Lenz

We've all seen how the media portrays divorced women: sad, lonely, drowning their sorrows in a bottle of wine. It’s as though they did something wrong, so they’ve been cast out from society. In this exuberant and unapologetic account, Lyz Lenz is flipping the script on that narrative and preaching the good gospel of the power of divorce.

Studies show that nearly 70 percent of divorces are initiated by women—women who are tired, fed up, exhausted, and unhappy. Lyz is one such woman whose life fell apart after she reached a breaking point in her twelve-year marriage. The end of a marriage is often seen as the failure of the individual—most often, the woman. But how can a woman succeed in a relationship that is premised on her fundamental inequality? Lyz sees divorce as a practical and powerful solution for women to take back the power they are owed, while examining why we call divorce a failure, when it's heterosexual marriage that has been flawed all along.

This book weaves reportage with sociological research, literature with popular culture, and personal stories of coming together and breaking up to create a kaleidoscopic and poignant portrait of American marriage today. Lyz argues that the mechanisms of American power, justice, love, and gender equality remain deeply flawed, and that marriage, like any other cultural institution, is due for a reckoning. Unlike any other book about divorce, this raucous manifesto for acceptance, solidarity, and collective female refusal takes readers on a riveting ride—all while pointing us all toward something a little more free.