Weaving a Wildflower

Weaving a Wildflower is a memoir woven in prose and poetry of a daughter tirelessly trying to detach from her mother's womb as she goes through cycles of storming, breaking, aching, purging, grieving, longing, shedding and finally weaving back her kinship to her self and to the motherland that provided her with the wisdom she endlessly searched for.

The journey is not an easy one for the daughter, an adoptee at age 4, who had kept her love and deep longing for her birth mother a secret from everything and everyone around her. However, when the moment came to connect with her birth mother, the emotional storm that resulted from that reunion was not something she had expected. Deep inside, she believed healing only happens in union for union is the universal language as she comes to discover that love has many meanings and detachment is one.

This process of releasing and reclaiming, of letting go and letting in, requires the daughter to walk journeys that are painful and lonely as she struggles to understand and find peace and meaning in detaching from this instinctual bond that connects her to her mother. Deep inside she is fighting this rupture with all her force. Her natural instinct is to move towards the mother and not away from her.

With the long silent grief she carried along the years, her mother grew like a forest in her home obstructing her view of the world outside and the world inside. With such a loss that went unnoticed without any compassion or recognition from the world around her, it remains incomplete, silent, and secretive. When there are no closures and no goodbyes, the daughter will have to make up her own closure. But how to create closure when the mother is not there?

This is the world that is locked in an adoptee, a world of loss and longing, a longing for home and union as the daughter tries to fill in the holes her mother had left. Along the way, she comes to discover that her cords have been so intricately entangled with her mother's that she will need to untangle one string at a time from a yarn of infinitely intertwined strings. She later finds that the only way to her freedom is to find her own threads and weave her own web even if that meant waning from her mother's warm and tender womb.

Weaving a Wildflower explores storytelling as a doorway for freedom and liberation shedding light on the many narratives we hold within our selves and the healing we find in rewriting and retelling the stories of our lives. There exist many truths to a story and the author through her memoir writes for her own healing a story that longed to find its voice and its storyteller.

come lay your head on my chest
and let me sing you a song
the song of longing

~ Weaving a Wildflower ~