Plankton Soup

Based On A True Story!

The book that the C.I.A. don't want you to read!

I would not recommend this book to anybody - Senior C.I.A. Agent (not his real name).

I laughed so much I had loose stools for a week! - DIY FURNITURE ASSEMBLER

I on the other hand became quite vexed and did not laugh one iota. I have recommended the author for psychiatric evaluation. Consequently my stools remain firm and trouble free. - AUTHOR'S G.P.

If only this book had been around in my day, just think what I might have achieved! - ALEXANDER THE GREAT (Could have been greater).

More comedy per square metre than other books of comparable size. - ATTILA THE HUN

Perfect for those long, tiresome journeys! - JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS

Sutton should be struck off the Writers Register if there is one! If there isn't, there should be, so that he can be struck off it. I will raise a petition and submit it to the relevant ombudsman. If there isn't one, there should be. Where the hell is Prince Charles when you need him? - FATHER A. WAY, Catholic Church, Limpopo River.

KWAI CHANG CAINE (GRASSHOPPER) - I am a man of peace, as everybody knows. But I nearly peaced my kung-fu pants laughing at this book!

I was lost for words! - HARPO MARX

I'm his biggest fan! - ROBERT WADLOW. (8'4")