Shoulders

"You and only you are responsible for your ultimate successes and failures. Excellence and accomplishments are colorless. We are co-creators of our life experiences and can contribute to desired changes at any time." - FB

I had rented a small studio apartment with a Murphy bed in it. Vera had kept all of the furniture, utensils, and items from the house. I had only my personal belongings. I picked up the three children, Fred being the youngest at 8 months, and brought them back to the apartment with all of their clothing, formula, and diaper bag. That evening, I fed them. I went to the store and brought a Kellogg Variety Cereal Pack and some plastic spoons. I fixed formula for the baby that evening, and the next morning fed the girls, then 3 and 2 years old, using the variety pack box as a cereal bowl. I then bathed and dressed them. I was still sleepy and tired because the night before I had tried to sleep in the bed with the three children and found that there were no sides on the bed and that one or two of the children kept falling off. I ended up kneeling on the floor beside the bed, placing them in the center of the bed and wrapped my arms around them to keep them from falling out. It had been a restless night and I had gotten very little sleep. A close friend of mine, had told his sister about my plight and she had agreed to allow me to bring the children to her house, and she would watch them while I attempted to figure out what I was going to do with the business. I did not own an automobile at the time. After the children were dressed, I took them across the street to the bus stop and waited for the Linwood bus going north. I stood there with Fred, Jr., in my arms, holding the hand of Monique, who was 2 years old, and Denise, who was 3 years old grabbing onto my pant leg. I had the diaper bag over my shoulder, with extra diapers and a change of clothes for the girls, the baby bag, and some formula in it. I stood there, thinking that I had no idea how I was going to keep my little family together, and wondering if perhaps my God had forsaken them and me.

In order to heal, you must first forgive. I carried the pain of having my first wife abandon the children and me for over twenty years while she went about her life. When I followed my teaching to release and forgive, I wrote her a letter. I told her that I forgave her for all and anything that she had done and asked her to forgive me for any contribution that I had made to the dissolution of the relationship. I further resolved that I was forgiving myself for all and anything that I had done in my life and resolved to try to live my life as best I could. The act of forgiveness allowed me to heal and it truly set me free!